The Season of Expat Homesickness

It’s so dark. Why is it always raining? Everything is different shades of gray. 

Wintertime in Denmark can bring up these feelings of gloominess, for expats and Danes alike. The only cure seems to be hygge, with candles galore and Christmas decorations strewn around the house. For the Dane, this is tradition. For the expat, this may bring some solace. But, why do we see expats struggling during these winter months? 

It all comes down to the usual answer, but more pertinent than ever: Homesickness. 

The winter months are abundant with holidays: Christmas, Chanukkah, Thanksgiving, and more. Such holidays are associated with homecoming and family; it's the time to see those you have not seen all year, all while eating copious amounts of homemade food. To those hosting, it's almost expected that those far away take the time and effort to come to these annual gatherings. This is where the unique conundrum comes in for the expat. 

If you don’t show up to the annual gathering, you’re bombarded by family texts asking where you are or why you’re not coming. Some members may send their condolences with “thinking of you!” Among these texts, there are pictures in the family chat or on social media of the food. A giant turkey. Cookies from grandma’s famous recipe. Alcohol that can only be found in that specific town. There could be a sense of missing out, exclusion from the family while they’re celebrating, or longing to taste that food you’ve had every year. 

Alternatively, if you do show up, you’re trying to make the most of your time with family with the limited time off you were able to conjure up. Depending how far away home is, this is something to take into consideration for your vacation days and budget. You may experience the inevitable stress of family when you arrive. Or, what one would least expect, you still experience that homesickness. You’ve missed out on so much time being away from home, that it seems that everyone else grew up and progressed. It’s not the same home as you remember, or as how you left it. 

For an expat, it seems like a lose-lose situation; no matter what decision is made, there always seems to be some stressor that needs to be overcome. On top of that, there is the foreignness of Denmark. There are mixed reactions to the very early preparations for Christmas, ranging from “so cozy!” to “it’s not even October yet!!” 

What can be done for people like us? 

That’s where expats flourish in their uniqueness. We find ways to navigate our own hygge during these times. Some of us go home. Some of us stay and create our own traditions. Some of us decide to treat it as some time off. 

Although there’s no “one-size-fits-all” manual on how to overcome homesickness during the holiday season in Denmark, and that our individual stories are unique, there are a few “tips” that support the agency to embrace homesickness.